live and let live

Life is a funny thing. It can seem great and blissful and everything you want it to be until one tiny thing happens and completely derails every feeling you previously had. For instance, you can trust someone as deeply as you can and never doubt a single thing about them. Then, out of nowhere, they do something that thoroughly destroys that trust. This can feel shattering and soul crushing unless you can turn it into a learning moment. If someone you love makes a mistake that seems fatal, it is their personal moment of weakness. It is no reflection on who you are and it is by no means your fault. A persons actions are their choice and they are to be held responsible for them. However, if they mess up so badly that it affects the way you think of yourself and you choose to forgive them, do not think of it solely as their moment of weakness. Think of it also as your moment of strength. Situations in which trust is broken shows a lot more about the one who it hurt than it does about the one who did the hurting. I have recently been through some things that have made me incredibly confused about my thoughts and feelings. I have been feeling invalidated and unimportant. No amount of soul searching has been able to fix this. However, I had a small chat with a friend of mine and witnessed a side of her that I didn’t know existed. I experienced her wisdom and generosity. I went through high school in her company and still very much so enjoy being around her. In the midst of my self hatred and disappointment as a result of someone losing my trust, she said some things that will forever stay in my mind and my heart. She spoke of how, during our last year of school, I worked the hardest out of all the seniors. She told me that she admires and looks up to me. She went on about my dedication and intelligence and how much it inspired her. I cannot express how encouraging it was to find out that I had had an impact like that on somebody. The talk that she and I had changed my viewpoint on myself and the way I viewed my position.

I guess the point of this post is to talk about how you can take a poor situation and turn it into a learning experience. Some things in life are out of your control, but what isn’t out of your control is how you handle the experience. Every day is a learning opportunity. Take advantage of it.